October 26, 2015

Scary Books I Definitely WON'T Be Reading

I am unapologetically a wimp when it comes to horror. I have enough trouble getting a good night's sleep without thinking about ghosts and zombies and monsters. So here is a list of Halloween type books, I WON'T be reading.

  1. The Strain by Guillermo del Toro - Basically it is a combo of virus-horror with vampires. Sometimes I like a vampire story, but not scary vampires. Sparkly vampires are better. But add in that science-y aspect, and... nope, nope nope.

  2. I,Zombie by Hugh Howie - Yes, it's a first-person zombie story. So much nope.

  3. House of Leaves by Mark Z. Danielewski - One of my co-workers is currently reading this. She also identifies as a wimp, so I'm kind of surprised, but it sure is taking her a long time to read it. Hearing her talk about it makes me sure it is not for me.

  4. The Terror by Dan Simmons - A nineteenth century Northwest Passage expedition battles the elements and a lack of food and an unknown beast stalking them in the dark. Hell no.

  5. Bird Box by Josh Malerman - Another unseen attacker. If you look at it, even a glimpse, you become insanely violent. A woman is trying to escape with her twins. Kids AND unseen horrors? Uh-uh. No thank you.

  6. Dark Places by Gillian Flynn - This has a bunch of stuff about self-harm and cutting and stuff. Not my cup of tea.

  7. Under the Dome by Stephen King - A random invisible force field suddenly surrounds a little town in Maine. That's kind of scary, but the really scary thing about this book is that it's 1074 pages. Ummmm.... nope.

  8. Lives of the Mayfair Witches series by Anne Rice - You all know how much I love me some Anne Rice, but I read the first book in this series in broad daylight and scared myself to death. All the nopes.

  9. Let the Right One In by John Ajvide Lindqvist - There's a new girl in town, but she's a little weird. And kids are getting murdered. And it's Swedish. You know how those Swedes are. Even the not-scary books are scary. Thank you, but nope.

  10. Haunted by Chuck Palahniuk - Really, this cover says it all.


So there is my nope parade. Anything you're definitely NOT reading?