Nope

Today's Top Ten Tuesday topic is Things That Make You NOT Pick Up a Book. It's the opposite of last Tuesday's topic about buzzwords. I have a few of these. I'll share.

I'm going to start with things about the actual book itself that make me pass it over on the bookstore/library shelf.

Stickers on the Cover - See that crap? Those stickers that say Netflix on? If you can get that sticker off without tearing the cover, it leaves a greasy mark that isn't coming off. Or worse, a sticky spot that will then catch every fleck of link and hair of dog, binding it to the book forevermore.

Thirst Traps - On social media, a picture of a man (or woman) showing off their abs and looking sexy is called a thirst trap. Yeah, he's hot, but I cannot be seen reading a book with this cover. Not even in the privacy of my own home. My family would be like, "What the hell are you reading?" I try not to be a book snob, and I might read a ridiculous romance occasionally, but I just cannot with this type of cover.

World War II - Particularly covers like this one where the cover is women in period dress with their backs to the reader. This is so cliché. I will admit to having read and enjoyed some books set in WWII, but they didn't have this crap on the cover. In fact, there are a couple of books I'd like to check out, but I'm totally put off by the cover. Ugh!

Dogs on the Cover - The book pictured here is the worst perpetrator of this crime. I learned a long time ago that if there is a dog on the cover, it's going to die. In this monstrosity, the dog is killed and reborn repeatedly until it finds its purpose. Oh my god, no. Luckily there is a website called DoesTheDogDie.com which will tell you if there are animal deaths and a host of other triggers that a reader might want to know about. Because sometimes, the dog doesn't die.

Ok. Now for things I won't know until I pick up the book. I can probably deduce these things by reading the jacket copy. If the cover is inoffensive, I'll give the summary a once over to make sure none of these things is obvious.

Accidental Pregnancy - Gross. Honestly, I don't want to read any book about pregnancy or child birth or any of that mess right now. I especially hate a book about a one night stand that ended in a pregnancy regardless of how it ends up. Just no.

Sick Lit - When the book is about someone dying of some disease. Especially if they are a kid. The one in the picture there is about two kids with Cystic Fibrosis. I kind of came to this bias through my friend Jamie who was a sick kid. She said there was exactly one book that did it right. This was not it. And for some reason, publishing has decided we need tons of sick kids to read about to fulfil some diversity and inclusion quota. Only it's not good.

Infidelity - I hate this too. How boring. I don't hold a lot of truck with people who can't be faithful. Like, no. And a story where the whole premise revolves around it? No thank you.

Miscommunication - This is a dumb premise for a story. In my house, we have plenty of miscommunication, but we manage to figure it out pretty quickly. We ask questions. We watch body language and facial expressions. We make sure we heard right. Misunderstanding someone's intent is a terrible reason for a plot. Just talk to each other for God's sake. If two people talking to each other like grown ass adults means you don't have a story, you already don't have a story.

Ok. Now for the things I won't know until I actually start reading the thing. I have found it is wise to actually open a book I am thinking about buying and perusing a few pages to see if I spot any of these issues.

Lack of Punctuation/Quotation Marks - I realize this is a stylistic choice a lot of authors make when they want to seem poetic, or lyrical or whatever. It makes it really hard to read the book. If I have to work too hard to read your book, I just won't.

Typos - This is a thing I'm seeing more and more of these days. I don't know how it happens. I am pretty sure authors have to reread and edit their work three times. Also, an editor reads it. Presumably a proof reader reads it. And somehow, we seem to be getting more and more errors. It takes me out of the story every time it happens. When it happens too much, I just give up.

Ok. There are 10 things that will keep me from picking up a book. What are some of your nopes?